It’s time for the next installment of my latest series, wherein I complain about first world problems — AKA things I should be grateful I have access to but annoy me anyway.
Today’s post is inspired by the ever-bitter Ben, of the aptly named Ben’s Bitter Blog. Check out his rants for guaranteed grumblings and — more importantly — laughs.
Women wear high heels for a variety of reasons: to add height, feel sexier, complete an outfit or make a statement. But what often comes with this killer footwear is a plethora of problems that last long after the other shoe drops.
The long-term effects of wearing high heels are far from fabulous. From corns and callouses to bunions and EXTRA TOES, I have to ask: Why do we put ourselves through this pain?
Yikes. A. Bee.
But I walked behind a woman yesterday who struggled so much for those three blocks, I wanted to hail her a cab to put her out of her misery. The forecast suggested a downpour, yet she actively chose to traipse through New York in stilettos she couldn’t handle.
Down goes Frazier.
I love dressing up as much as the next girl, but I can’t defend the trend of hobbling along for the sake of wearing sky-high shoes. The styles that used to be reserved for special occasions are now everyday office wear, and I don’t get it.
While I agree that a great pair of heels (any shoe, really) can make a statement, I do not think beauty is pain. If you’re struggling to walk, let alone stand — trade ‘em out for a wonderful wedge or (gasp!) seductive sandal.
And even if you can rock any heel height without fail, give your poor tootsies a break at least twice a week to minimize damage. Feet are gross enough without the swollen skin and blistered bunions. You’re welcome for that visual.
This one’s for the ladies! (If you didn’t immediately think of Tina Fey DJing in “Baby Mama,” then I don’t know if we can continue this relationship.
Anyway, this week is dedicated to some pretty awesome — if not just plain entertaining — women. Before we begin: Don’t you dare forget to celebrate Mother’s Day on Sunday! Now let’s continue …
- Birthday Girls: It’s my aunt Lori’s and cousin Kelly’s birthdays (today and Saturday, respectively). One’s a teacher, the other a nurse — I wasn’t kidding the other day — so they deserve as much cake and presents as they can carry.
- Dear Girls Above Me: Charlie McDowell’s ultra-entertaining commentary is on pre-order in book form! A recent fave? “I got another ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant when there wasn’t a fire!” –At least you have an airtight court case.
- Skinnygirl Margaritas: Bethenny Frankel, notably of RHONY fame, is the mastermind behind the Skinnygirl brand. So go on and keep raising a glass for Cinco de Drinko (minus the guilt)!
- “Girl on Fire” – Alicia Keys: If ever there was a women-kick-ass anthem, it’s this one. I prefer the Nicki Minaj “Inferno” version, but either way, it’s a powerhouse hit.
You can try but you’ll never forget her name.
“I thought it was gonna be food. It’s just … words.”
I read this article a while back, right after awards season culminated with Jennifer Lawrence winning and tripping her way into our hearts forever.
The author argues that celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence and Mila Kunis are so popular because they “act just like average humans, but [don't] look remotely like them.”
And while it’s true that these women are stunning and talented, some others would argue that it’s their job to be likable and the envy of every girl in America.
Still, if we didn’t simultaneously put celebrities on a pedestal and in the spotlight, whatever would be talk about over mimosas at brunch? They become our scapegoat, because the wild things they do or say (or in Anne Hathaway’s case, the breathless humblebrag she reps regularly) are fascinating — and 100% accessible.
It’s easy to judge and comment and criticize on every thing we see in today’s world, because there is no escape. I can tell you what outfit Kim Kardashian posted to Twitter today just as easy as I can report Rihanna’s last picture from Instagram — and I follow neither.
We’re in a culture of over-share, as well as one that feeds off constant streams of information. We’re inundated with “news” about these things, and what’s worse, the generation behind me truly believes these situations in their own lives are news-worthy and should be shared to the world at large.
Stars: They’re just like us because they pump their own gas! How thrilling. I’m guilty of it myself, and yet I find it so mind-numbing to see the same stories churned out from hundreds of media outlets daily.
I’ll get off my soapbox now, but I have to say what prompted me to even mention the article was the following quote: ”You must be gorgeous but humble, smart but self-mocking, talented but awestruck by others with talent, young but wise beyond your years, perfect but anxious to admit your flaws to the world. And you’d better do it every second of every day.“
And while I still want to be the new BFF to complete a Jennifer-Mila trifecta, I wish them luck as they continue to be scrutinized in the public eye.