It wouldn’t be a complete week in Wittyburg world without a smattering of girly, betchy, A.D.D. madness!
- Betches Love This: I just discovered this site, thanks to a fabulous co-worker who has an appreciation for all things snarky. My favorite features so far are The Bachelor Recaps and Betch of the Week. Fieeeerce.
- March Madness: It’s that time of year again where I cry simultaneous tears of joy and utter despair. Can’t wait to lose my shit as my bracket gets ripped to shreds. Christmas come early!
- A Floral Dress: Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking. I get it, Miranda Priestly, but I broke out one today with nude pumps and it’s become my favorite new “old” piece.
- Draw Something: Downloaded more than 20 million times, this app is entirely addictive and brings a whole new level of distraction to my phone. Thanks to a good friend for showing me the light.
May all your bracket picks be winners and your drawings be guessed. Cheers!
The time is upon us once again — the time when I cling desperately to a crumpled piece of paper, when I am anxious and nauseous and can’t control my emotions, when I make everyone around me wallow in my misery too. “March Madness” is so alliteratively angelic, but I prefer to call it “March Sadness” instead.
Year after year, I make my picks. I create a mix of Cinderella stories with longtime favorites. I agonize over one singular matchup to the point of red-faced frustration. I am convinced when all is said and done, that this is going to be the year: I will not fuck this up.
And then it happens.
This year’s dream-killer award goes to Pittsburgh. I put all my balls in one bracket, and I thought that pushing a fellow Big East team to the Final Four would be a cause for celebration. Oh, me of little faith. Pitt screwed the pooch … rather, the pooch screwed Pitt. The Butler Bulldogs came in and crushed all hopes of salvaging my first round’s 22-10 record.
I huffed and I puffed, and all that fell down was my miserable excuse of a bracket selection. Down to the floor it dropped, along with any hopes of winning my pool’s sweet, sweet pot.
This isn’t new for me, so I shouldn’t be surprised. Every year, I do relatively well in the first round. Last year, I was 26-6. Then the second round will come, and all is shot to hell. My championship picks get pulverized, and I curse myself for what could’ve been.
I know I’m not alone here. Which team has made you sad this March? And which teams do you still have left, that you’ll be cursing come Thursday?
Note: For anyone reading who is sitting on winning picks, you know what you can do … and how to get there.