The Thing about Being a Twentysomething

I’m in my early 20s and am still learning new things about myself every day. I have fantasies, faults and fears that I discover as I move throughout life. And quite frankly, I don’t understand why it seems that so many of my baby-faced peers are so eager to rush down the aisle and raise kids of their own.

It’s my feeling that many of these people want the wedding, not the marriage. Listen — if you’re looking to spend a couple grand on some extravagant night, I can give you a laundry list of reasons to do so, besides the first boyfriend you’ve ever had just dropped to one knee and gave you a ring.

I’m sure this sounds crazy to those happily married or happily engaged couples who have stars in their eyes and are over the moon for one another. Take it from a girl who falls fast, and always for the wrong guy; there is no timeline for ANY of us on when it should happen.

There’s the saying that “if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans,” and I couldn’t agree more. You can’t plan when you’ll get married, or who the bride or groom will be. You can’t draw out blueprints for a baby’s room before pregnancy, because the thing about life is, THERE IS NO PLAN. The second you try to plan, the second it falls to shit. And all that’s left is a giant chasm of disappointment.

And honestly, what’s the rush? So much life is ahead of you when you’re in your 20s. So many experiences await you. The world is wide open, and it may never be again.

I say all of this, of course, as someone who enjoys attending sorority sisters’ weddings. I’m excited to hear of a friend or relative who is pregnant. I’m not bitter toward the fact that those choices are made in the early dawn of their lives. I just don’t quite get it.

I think it freaks some people out to hear me say that I don’t know if I’ll ever get married, or if I’ll ever want children of my own. I am judged for not following what’s expected of me at the old age of 23, but I simply don’t have a plan for myself to “achieve” those things. Does that make me a failure at being a twentysomething?

Everyone has different priorities, so I suppose the point I’m trying to make is: At this stage in my life, is it so wrong that I first want to become successful in my professional and financial milestones, and worry about the husband and baby later?

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About Wittyburg

Sarcastic, sports-obsessed writer & FL native navigating SF.

5 responses to “The Thing about Being a Twentysomething”

  1. Lauren Fuino says :

    I completely agree, especially about how so many people want the wedding day and not the marriage. I really don’t think they even know what it takes to make a marriage or what happens after the wedding day closes. God forbid a woman do something with her life besides being Susie Homemaker. The last time I checked it was 2010 and Sarah Palin wasn’t president. Love you lady!

    • wittyburg says :

      Love you, Lauren! I’m happy to hear you’ve got your head on straight, despite being in lurve with your man. It’s not an urban legend; it really can happen, people!

  2. Not Julia Mann says :

    Amen! Forever is a long time. Do what you need to do before forever. P.S. In the meantime, start a divorce pool with your single friends to see which couples will be dunzo in five years. Easyyyyy money, sister. Put it toward your financial milestones.

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