Lessons from an Early-Morning Gym Sesh

I switched to a later work schedule this week, and — knowing full well that I’d never work out in the late evening — I’ve started hitting the gym before the office. I’ve already learned so much …

  1. We have a lot of elderly members. South Tampa is notorious for yuppie, Ed Hardy–wearing douchebags, so it’s completely foreign to see so many grannies sweatin’ to the oldies.
  2. I need a new playlist. Until today, my “Gymmy Gym Gym” mix has kept me going. But Nelly, Katy, Florence and The Lonely Island just weren’t doing it for me in the 8 o’clock hour.
  3. Don’t believe the “shampoo, conditioner and body wash provided” promise. I luckily didn’t need to wash my hairs, but the so-called “body wash” was just pathetic. I’ll be bringing my own from now on, thankyouverymuch.
  4. Most women don’t wash their hands. In the 15 minutes I spent primping, I witnessed four women use the restroom without washing their hands afterward. Gross with a capital GAH.
  5. Taking a two-lane road to work is too stressful. My first time taking this particular street to the office was a freaking nightmare. As if traffic isn’t bad enough, there’s no way to get around the idiots you’re stuck behind.

I’m planning to get in 30 minutes earlier tomorrow and Friday, provided my affinity for the snooze button doesn’t win again. And, I’m now accepting suggestions for the playlist — just no trance music, please.

He just wants to see you SWEAT!

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About Wittyburg

Sarcastic, sports-obsessed writer & FL native navigating SF.

8 responses to “Lessons from an Early-Morning Gym Sesh”

  1. maggie may says :

    Old peopld need exeecise too. If they are at the gym, then I am not stuck behind them in traffic or in the grocery store. 143

    • wittyburg says :

      Very true. I’m not suggesting they disappear from the gym; I actually much prefer them to the STDs (South Tampa Douchebags) I regularly see. 1432! Viva la Espana!

  2. rachel says :

    This is the best post EVER! Lol the grannies are the best workout partners ha true story

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