My Future as a Crazy Person

The New York Times reported recently that people who live alone are more likely to demonstrate behaviors typical to that of an insane person. Well, isn’t that special?

It says that we’re more conscious of our behaviors when someone else is present (duh).

It’s a social norm to wear pants when you’ve got another person in the apartment, but when it’s just you … pants-off dance-off is a weekly feature.

I’ve lived on my own for a while now, and I had no idear that some of the following habits are “odd”:

  • Exercising during TV commercials: Hello, you can’t fast-forward through ads while sports are on!
  • Speaking to myself in conversational Spanish: Practicing for my trip to Panama and Costa Rica.
  • Having conversations with animals: I’ve always felt a connection to Dr. Doolittle.
  • Using my dryer as a dresser: Do it with or without roommates.
  • Leaving bras around the apartment: Did it with male roommates too … they got used to it.
  • Wearing special “home-alone” outfits: To be fair, the majestic wolf tee has been worn in public.
  • Subsisting largely on cereal: I just really like Cinnamon Chex!
  • Grazing on nuts and seeds: Put a bird on it.
  • Drinking alone: Last I checked, Jack Daniel was a real person.
  • Keeping the bathroom door open: Only for #1 — I’m not an animal!

My favorite roomie.

There are some other behaviors I haven’t fallen victim to — yet — but I fail to see the problem. Unless it’s interfering with your routine (leaving the house without pants is a bit extreme), you should relish having the option to do whatever the hell you want.

Living alone is as close to complete freedom as you’ll get: You make your own rules and schedule. You have only yourself to be upset with if the trash piles up or the chores aren’t done.

It could be my storied past of roommates, but I certainly feel more sane living alone than I ever did living with 1–28 other people.

And if it means I become some crazy dog lady … I’m willing to take that risk. Let’s be real: I’m already halfway there (and livin’ on a prayer).

What habits did you pick up while living alone? Or if you’ve never lived alone, what’s stopping you?

The only thing you have to fear about living alone — when you’ve fallen and can’t get up.

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About Wittyburg

Sarcastic, sports-obsessed writer & FL native navigating SF.

10 responses to “My Future as a Crazy Person”

  1. carlarenee45 says :

    LOL, love this post. I live alone and I do what I want. I love it!

  2. B_Mo says :

    In all of my scientific research (and I’ve done a lot) living WITH others is what makes you insane. So pray on sista, we’ll go insane together. 😉

    Besides everyone knows that you get ready in the morning in your skivvies while the pants are in the dryer, c’mon man!

    • Wittyburg says :

      I just realized my reply didn’t post last week 😦 As long as we have each other (and Doody), the rest of the world can fuggetabout us being “normal”!

  3. Maggie May says :

    So, proof that insanity is NOT hereditary. I am glad I am not to blame. Best thing about living alone – not being judged if I had a margarita for breakfast! Second best thing – being the first American Idol back in the mid 1970’s!

    • Wittyburg says :

      Considering that I have regular dinners of cheese and crackers (plus a few glasses of vino), I think it best that nobody’s here to see it happen.

  4. Nev says :

    Haha 28 other people. I know what thaaat feels like. Hilarious post

    • Wittyburg says :

      Thanks, honey boo-boo child! It takes some serious getting used to after leaving the house, because there aren’t nearly 30 girls there for your every move 🙂

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