Wittyburg Elections 2012

Did you guys know it’s an election year? I hadn’t heard until recently — and even then, I thought it was an election for the next Olympic Master of Ceremonies. (McCartney 2016, anyone?) Sarcasm-laden sentences aside, I am suuuper ready for the presidential election to be dunzo.

And since the results will only mean more complaining and political posts, I’ve got my own nominations for Wittyburg Elections 2012. Get your ballots in now!

Voting Key: (I) = Incumbent, (C) = Challenger

Best Campaign Gaffe

  • (I) Biden’s Awkward Biker Pic – Nothing says “Vote!” like an old white guy hanging with Hell’s Angels.
  • (C) Romney’s “Binders Full of Women” Comment – Inspiring thousands of Halloween costumes.

Worst Song of 2012

Best Arnett Kid

  • (I) Abel – As my brother will tell you, first-born is always the favorite.
  • (C) Archie – His ginger death stare is terrifying.

Worst Natural Disaster

  • (I) Lindsay Lohan – There’s no saving this Hollywood train wreck.
  • (C) Hurricane Sandy* – 8 million without power and landmarks destroyed.

Best Cast of “The Real Housewives”

  • (I) New Jersey – Flipping tables was just the beginning.
  • (C) Atlanta – Former Miss USA joins the cast … let the drama unfold.

Make sure you vote in the presidential election too, of course, and check out the Honey Boo Boo costume contest I’m seriously part of. Real life.

*Regarding the horrific Hurricane Sandy, take two minutes and donate to The Red Cross to support relief efforts.

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About Wittyburg

Sarcastic, sports-obsessed writer & FL native navigating SF.

2 responses to “Wittyburg Elections 2012”

  1. rachel says :

    love this, frand! genius i say! also, i voted… for you!

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