First World Problems

It’s time for the next installment of my latest series, wherein I complain about first world problems — AKA things I should be grateful I have access to but annoy me anyway.

Today’s post is inspired by the ever-bitter Ben, of the aptly named Ben’s Bitter Blog. Check out his rants for guaranteed grumblings and — more importantly — laughs.

Women wear high heels for a variety of reasons: to add height, feel sexier, complete an outfit or make a statement. But what often comes with this killer footwear is a plethora of problems that last long after the other shoe drops.

The long-term effects of wearing high heels are far from fabulous. From corns and callouses to bunions and EXTRA TOES, I have to ask: Why do we put ourselves through this pain?

Courtesy of

Yikes. A. Bee.

Future Mother of the Year Kim Kardashian claims to be more comfortable in heels because flats hurt her back. Girl, we have even bigger problems — so we’ll save that for a later date.

But I walked behind a woman yesterday who struggled so much for those three blocks, I wanted to hail her a cab to put her out of her misery. The forecast suggested a downpour, yet she actively chose to traipse through New York in stilettos she couldn’t handle.

Courtesy of

Down goes Frazier.

I love dressing up as much as the next girl, but I can’t defend the trend of hobbling along for the sake of wearing sky-high shoes. The styles that used to be reserved for special occasions are now everyday office wear, and I don’t get it.

While I agree that a great pair of heels (any shoe, really) can make a statement, I do not think beauty is pain. If you’re struggling to walk, let alone stand — trade ’em out for a wonderful wedge or (gasp!) seductive sandal.

And even if you can rock any heel height without fail, give your poor tootsies a break at least twice a week to minimize damage. Feet are gross enough without the swollen skin and blistered bunions. You’re welcome for that visual.

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About Wittyburg

Sarcastic, sports-obsessed writer & FL native navigating SF.

7 responses to “First World Problems”

  1. Katie says :

    I think there’s a time and place for heels, and it’s not a daily thing! I see women walking around Chicago in heels they can’t walk in all the time, and I think to myself: no one is worth suffering that much to impress them!

    • Wittyburg says :

      Agreed completely. Heels should be a seamless part of your outfit, not pointing out your struggle as you grimace and gripe your way to the nearest seat.

  2. bensbitterblog says :

    I see women walking in them all the time and I wonder why really endure so much pain to still be 4 inches shorter than me. Hopefully they at least get some Schoel’s for their feet. I find it humorous when ladies are tripping in those things on the runway too.

    • Wittyburg says :

      Fashion roadkill on the runway is precisely why I’m not a model. (Yeah, that’s it — not my lack of height or affinity for Girl Scout cookies.) I’m all for feeling your best, but these women can’t tell me wobbling in heels they can’t handle is sexy.

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