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First World Problems

It’s time for the next installment of this series, wherein I complain about first world problems — AKA things I should be grateful I have access to but annoy me anyway. 

Today’s topic: Fantasy Football.

You may recall my announcement last year, just before Team Honey Boo Boo careened off the tracks into a fury of fantasy football failure.

Courtesy of ReactionGifs.com

I have an even bigger problem this year, though. I don’t have a league.

It’s been brought to my attention that my former commish is not interested in taking money from people who no longer live in Florida.

Courtesy of AreYouonDrugs.WordPress.com

Excuse me — rather, he’s only allowing ONE person from out of state to play and the rest of us are left leagueless.

I know what a pain it is to have people Skype in and draft.
I get it. Really, I do.
Prove it, you say?
Because I sat through it last year for ONE person.

My issue is: If they’re letting that same ONE person draft from afar, then what’s the big deal with having a few more do it? Hell, put my team on Autodraft (it’ll probably be better for us all that way).

But don’t take it away for people who pay up (on time, mind you) each season.

Apparently, leaving Floriduh is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT!*

Courtesy of FastCompany.com

*The .gif I wanted to create from this video refuses to load. Double whammy.

First World Problems

It’s time for the next installment of my latest series, wherein I complain about first world problems — AKA things I should be grateful I have access to but annoy me anyway.

Today’s post is inspired by the ever-bitter Ben, of the aptly named Ben’s Bitter Blog. Check out his rants for guaranteed grumblings and — more importantly — laughs.

Women wear high heels for a variety of reasons: to add height, feel sexier, complete an outfit or make a statement. But what often comes with this killer footwear is a plethora of problems that last long after the other shoe drops.

The long-term effects of wearing high heels are far from fabulous. From corns and callouses to bunions and EXTRA TOES, I have to ask: Why do we put ourselves through this pain?

Courtesy of SpineMD.com

Yikes. A. Bee.

Future Mother of the Year Kim Kardashian claims to be more comfortable in heels because flats hurt her back. Girl, we have even bigger problems — so we’ll save that for a later date.

But I walked behind a woman yesterday who struggled so much for those three blocks, I wanted to hail her a cab to put her out of her misery. The forecast suggested a downpour, yet she actively chose to traipse through New York in stilettos she couldn’t handle.

Courtesy of Signature9.com

Down goes Frazier.

I love dressing up as much as the next girl, but I can’t defend the trend of hobbling along for the sake of wearing sky-high shoes. The styles that used to be reserved for special occasions are now everyday office wear, and I don’t get it.

While I agree that a great pair of heels (any shoe, really) can make a statement, I do not think beauty is pain. If you’re struggling to walk, let alone stand — trade ’em out for a wonderful wedge or (gasp!) seductive sandal.

And even if you can rock any heel height without fail, give your poor tootsies a break at least twice a week to minimize damage. Feet are gross enough without the swollen skin and blistered bunions. You’re welcome for that visual.

First World Problems

It’s time for the next installment of my latest series, wherein I complain about first world problems — AKA things I should be grateful I have access to but annoy me anyway.

Remember those Girl Scout cookies I was so obsessed with just two days ago? Well, we’ve hit a snag.

Not only is the serving size ridiculous, fooling you into thinking they’re “not that bad,” (Two cookies? How rude.) but they also greatly vary the amount of cookies in each box.

Courtesy of BadassFitness.com

Yeah, right.

Why do I get a mountain of Thin Mints and a molehill of the others? It’s just not fair. Honey Boo Boo can’t promote autographed cookie boxes, and I go through my favorite cookies twice as fast as the so-called most popular.

I’m all for Thin Mints; I get why they’re all the rage. But you can’t tell me Peanut Butter Patties (Tagalongs, for the rest of the world) and Caramel deLites (Samoas) aren’t worthy of some well-deserved praise too.

Altered from Wired.com

This just doesn’t add up in my book.

It’s not an issue of money, because I’m happy to support the organization that gave me so much while growing up. And I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty sure one variety shouldn’t have 40 in a box while another has 15. Boo, hiss.

Thankfully, this blogger found a solution for the in-between months of Girl Scout cookie season. I just hope the bakeries will get it together and level the playing field for us cookie monsters.

First World Problems

I’m going to be a bit of a brat in this new series, wherein I complain about first world problems — AKA things I should be grateful I have access to but annoy me anyway.

First up: a new problem with Pinterest. This one’s much more serious than the last.

Courtesy of Mah iPhone

We’re off to a great start.

I updated my Pinterest app, because I hate seeing that little red circle notification. (It’s a whole ‘nother story). This update included a new feature, where you can scroll to see related pins. Sounds super, right? WRONG.

Say you’re browsing pins on oh, I don’t know … a handheld device … like the iPhone, the same one you just updated because of App Store’s incessant red circle?

And, maybe you can’t see the entire pin, because some are long and others have lots of words (and have I mentioned you’re viewing a small-scale screen?).

Courtesy of Mah iPhoneWhat’s that say? No, not the Harry Potter nonsense. The shark one!

So you click the pin to view it full-screen. But, now there’s a box notifying you to scroll down to see related pins. OK, got it.

Courtesy of Mah iPhone

Thanks for that helpful tip, Pinterest!

Wait, why won’t the box go away? Clicking it opens the pin’s URL (which we all know is about 60 percent effective at being a helpful link).

Courtesy of Mah iPhone

Yep, I got it.

Courtesy of Mah iPhone

SERIOUSLY, GO AWAY.

Scroll up, scroll down … the box is still there. WTF, Pinterest!

I hadn’t even realized you could (accidentally) scroll any which way, because I was so aggravated by the big, dumb box.

Despite scouring help articles and FAQs and the almighty Google, I can’t find a solution. What’s this first world coming to?!

Courtesy of Apple.com

Pinterest’s iTunes page. It’s full of lies.