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Witty in Fitty: This One Time …

I haven’t slept well lately. So naturally, I started reading “Gone Girl” last night (better late than never, right?).

Courtesy of GoodReads.com

The stuff of nightmares.

Riddle me this: What genius gets sucked into a book, 300+ pages deep, and OH SHIT is it really 3:30 a.m.?

Courtesy of tumblr.com

I hate myself.

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Witty in Fitty: Bret Michaels, Entrepreneur?

Listening to Pandora during long workdays inevitably brings some terrible advertising.

But then, this little gem appeared during my mid-afternoon nap jam sesh:

Courtesy of Petsmart.com

And. I. Died.

Bret Michaels has designed Pets Rock, exclusively at Petsmart. Hold the giggles.

Courtesy of Crittr.com

Get your doggie bandanas, crusted collars (and STDs) right this way, folks.

Witty in Fitty: My Problem with Pinterest

Pinterest is great and wonderful and all of those things, but I have a big problem with it. As of today, here’s my status with these selected boards:

Courtesy of Pinterest

Bites & Brews: 158
______________________________

Courtesy of Pinterest

Sweet Treats: 162
______________________________

Courtesy of Pinterest

Work It Out: 28
______________________________

It may be time for a Pintervention.

Witty in Fitty: Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Courtesy of Hark.com

I understand I’m warm-blooded.

But you can’t tell me 30-degree weather is comfortable.

Courtesy of BuzzFeed

Thankfully, BuzzFeed is here to help.

And Zooey + Will too.

Because what else can you do in freezing temperatures?

Courtesy of Skuuzi.com

Well, um …

Go to a bar? Good enough reason for me.

Witty in Fitty: Real. Life.

Courtesy of GoNYC.About.com

Booked a one-way flight to NYC today. Nonrefundable. No turning back.

I’m excited and scared and happy and sad and most of all, I’m thankful.

My support system has been incredible — always is, but especially —
the past week.

I can’t wait for my life as a New Yorker to begin.

Courtesy of TheFlyper.com

Witty in Fitty: Fart Attack

Last night’s episode of “Parks and Recreation” reminded me just how much I adore the swag-tastic Tom Haverford.

Let’s take a moment to see poor Jerry go into cardiac arrest — and Tom’s ridiculous reaction (skip to 9:21 in).

And then, there’s this:

Is it possible to marry a fictional character?

Witty in Fitty: The League

Tonight is the draft for my office fantasy football league, and I drew to go second. The draft kit is printed, the board is ready and the brews await.

Fingers crossed so I can upstage last year’s miserable finish. Let’s go, team Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!