Tag Archive | amurica

WO: Weekly Obsessions

As of this writing, my sister-in-law will be induced any minute to begin delivery of my second niece… and I can’t contain my excitement! It’s been absolutely incredible seeing my first niece grow and develop over the past two and a half years, and I know she’ll be an amazing big sister. Baby will likely arrive tomorrow, but I’m celebrating now anyway. We won’t quite be birthday twins, but she’ll always be a firecracker in my eyes.

Here’s what else I’m celebrating:

Image Credits Listed Below

  1. Anchor Brewing: One of my work teams visited this brewery for a tour last week, and it didn’t disappoint. My fave so far is the Meyer Lemon Lager — perfect for a sultry summer day. Anchor also has a spectacular setup at AT&T Park’s neighbor, The Yard, where you can enjoy craft drafts alongside America’s favorite pastime.
  2. 4th of July: Speaking of ‘Merica, it’s only fitting that we start celebrating its birthday (and mine) early. The US of A is turning 240, after all. I’ll be camping in Tahoe with my boyfriend and a group of great friends, but no matter what you’re up to, keep it classy and stay safe!
  3. A Wireless Weekend: And now, speaking of Tahoe, I’m pretty pumped to go off the grid for a few days. My cell reception will be spotty, which is just what I need for a bit of rest and relaxation. As long as my niece arrives before then, I’m OK with missing birthday notifications on my actual birthday.
  4. Miley Cyrus – “Party in the USA”: I know, I hate me too. But what better way to get the people going than with such poetic prose as “Noddin’ my head like yeah / Movin’ my hips like yeah”? It’s cheesy and awful but the perfect party earworm for Lady Liberty (plus, a hefty payday for Jessie J).

Images courtesy of: Twitter, Our Valley Events, Survival Mastery, Pop Crunch

Born a Star-Spangled Sucker

Let’s pretend you were born on a holiday … say, the 4th of July? OK, so you grow up thinking all the hoopla is for you. For weeks, you can’t wait to celebrate YOU with the rest of the country. See how you might be confused when you discover it isn’t?

I am an Independence Day baby. As a result, I’ve worn an embarrassing amount of patriotic outfits and witnessed my fair share of firework shows. I’ve had more than 20 red, white and blue birthday cakes. I’ve proclaimed my love for Uncle Sam being only slightly stronger than my love for me.

When I found out — admittedly, well into my childhood — that everyone’s excitement around the 4th had basically nothing to do with me, I was crushed. The barbecues, the parades, the screwed-up National Anthem performances — all of it’s for the USA? Not what I signed up for, people.

I was further punished with a few years of canceled fireworks. From wildfires to Florida rain, Mother Nature can be a real birthday bitch. The summer date meant I never carried balloons at school or had a classroom party. Celebrations with friends were moved around the holiday weekend, so everyone could spend time with their families — the nerve!

The day isn’t all bad, though. I’ve never had tests, like my friends with school-year birthdays. I’ve never been scheduled to work. I’ve hosted a bar crawl the past few years, and it’s been a shitshow perfectly fit for the nation’s (and my) birthday.

So, enjoy the festivities as you celebrate America and Amanda this weekend. Cheers to another 235 years of kicking ass and taking names!

Slick Rick and I in the county paper on my 1st birthday

Cake-faced already at age 2, with Magz and Brother

Oh, Say Can You … Wait, What’s Next?

As everyone knows by now, Christina Aguilera totally dumped all over the national anthem at this year’s Superbowl. While I applaud Miss Aguilera for her impromptu creativity, it wasn’t the best botch I’ve seen. Since employing a teleprompter during this time-honored tradition is all too logical, I present my favorite flops of our national anthem:

The One Where Mo Cheeks Saves the Day During NBA Playoffs

13-year-old Natalie Gilbert was sick, but she didn’t want to let that stop her from belting it out. Mo Cheeks came to Natalie’s side, Dirk Nowitzki later gave her a high five and she’s since proven her knowledge of the star-spangled song in a web redemption on “Tosh.0.” Not bad, Natalie.

The One Where Roseanne Proves Her Voice Is NOT Her Worst Quality

Forgetting the words is bad. Forgetting the words AND subjecting everyone to a high-pitched, tone-deaf rendition? Just stop. I thought the old adage was “elephants never forget” but Miss Barr has proven it quite wrong.

The One Where the Girl Fails … and Falls

It’s pretty patriotic to forget the lyrics and excuse yourself out of embarrassment, rather than continue. But nothing says “America” like coming back to redeem yourself and busting it completely. This one wins over my humor and my heart.

In short, would it really be that difficult to get the words on a scrolling screen at major sporting events? It doesn’t have to be for the Table Tennis Championships (because let’s be honest, who watches that?) but the Superbowl, the World Series, the Stanley Cup … let’s get on it, Amurica.