Suck It, Spiral Notebooks
Always a classy broad, I is.
It’s International Left-Handers Day, and I am super excited to celebrate with a plethora of markers, scissors and all the things that have plagued me for 26 years. You know, it’s hard out here for a pimp.*
Let’s take a look at some really-fun-and-not-at-all-depressing facts about my people:
And since I’m part of the 2% (both parents are righties), I’m entitled to an extra day off or something. I mean, I’m basically a living miracle. Sayonara, suckers.
*No matter how hard it gets, I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing those weird glove things. Girl’s got a reputation to uphold.
Being Left-Handed Is All Right
I’m sure you marked your calendar, but in case you forgot: It’s International Left-Handers Day! As a “special” southpaw who’s overcome anything from spiral notebooks to scissors, I can appreciate … well, the appreciation.
If you’re not sure how to celebrate this momentous occasion, take a few suggestions from a real-life and totally-not-made-up website, LeftHandersDay.com.The possibilities are endless!:
- Create you [sic] own Lefty Zone.
- Learn about left-handed history.
- Check out the “Lefty Lament” song.
- Discover fascinating facts.
- Take the “How Left Are You?” test.
- Download a poster.
- Shop left-handed products.
And, thanks to a report from ABC, I have nothing to worry about:
Despite their minority status, lefties are more likely to excel in music, mathematics and athletics … But left-handedness has also been linked to a higher risk of developmental disorders and mental illness.
I’m an Olympic (watching) champion, and my musical career spans as far as elementary-level trivia. All that talent is totally worth the mental illness. It was bound to happen anyway.
