Always a classy broad, I is.

It’s International Left-Handers Day, and I am super excited to celebrate with a plethora of markers, scissors and all the things that have plagued me for 26 years. You know, it’s hard out here for a pimp.*

Let’s take a look at some really-fun-and-not-at-all-depressing facts about my people:

And since I’m part of the 2% (both parents are righties), I’m entitled to an extra day off or something. I mean, I’m basically a living miracle. Sayonara, suckers.

*No matter how hard it gets, I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing those weird glove things. Girl’s got a reputation to uphold.