Tag Archive | feminism

WO: Weekly Obsessions

Even though I read all day long as part of my job, I find myself grasping for more content to consume during my downtime. Whether it’s a rainy bus ride or relaxing before bed, I’ve been voraciously reading more long-form articles and novels than usual. For example…

Image Credits Listed Below

    1. “Who Does She Think She Is?”: Acclaimed author Laurie Penny wrote this essay and I hope you’ll take the time to read it. Spoiler alert for my favorite passage: “…any woman … must find a way to dress which is neither too conservative nor too revealing, not too frumpy nor too frivolous, a way of speaking which is neither ‘aggressive’ nor simpering … It’s almost as if the problem weren’t the behavior or the voice or the clothes but the woman wearing them.” DAMN.
    2. “The Silence: The Legacy of Childhood Trauma”: You’ve likely seen this essay from renowned author Junot Diaz shared among your social networks already, so I’m not breaking any ground here by reminding you to again, take the time to read it. The detail and decades of masked pain are heartbreaking and infuriating and excruciating all at once.
    3. “Keep Your Head Up”: Some co-workers were discussing addiction to technology via smartphones and other devices, when one mentioned this article from NYT contributor Adam Popescu. Granted, you have to read it on a device, but the irony was not lost on us. As much as I love the ability to FaceTime family and stay connected to loved ones, it’s also eye-opening to see what physical damage we’re causing on a daily basis.
    4. Mark Zuckerberg on SNL: When you need a break from all that weight of the world, this Weekend Update bit from SNL is sure to win. My work husband used it against me in a meeting today and I full on had a giggle fit in front of 20 people. So yeah, you could say it’s a good one. POKE!

 

 

Images courtesy of: Longreads, New Yorker, NYT, TechCrunch

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30 Before 30

In honor of my upcoming 30th birthday, I’ve researched countless “things to do before 30” lists. And while there are plenty to choose from, I kept coming back to “Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30.”

The List was originally published in Glamour by columnist Pamela Redmond Satran in 1997. Over the next 30 weeks, I’ll be tackling each item on The List and reflecting about it here… publicly (gulp). I hope you enjoy and we can grow together. After all, turning older is a privilege denied to many.

By 30, you should know…
20. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

OK, editors of Glamour. I wanted to hear you out, because my initial reaction to this must-know was not a positive one.

My mind raced with a stream of feminist fury: Why would a kiss dictate what we want and don’t want to happen next? Shouldn’t our words do the talking? Shouldn’t the person receiving said kisses and communication be understanding of whatever we want to happen (or not)?

Maybe I was so upset because I just finished the deeply moving Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” (more on that in tomorrow’s WO). Maybe it’s because I spent my college career flying under the dating radar, for fear of being labeled a “slut,” “whore,” or anything other than a young woman exploring her sexuality. Maybe it’s because I have nieces, whose safety I worry about constantly from 3,000 miles away. Maybe it’s because for the first time in a long time, I was pissed at Glamour editors for writing the exact kind of fluff expected from a women’s magazine.

Courtesy of ContentedTraveller.com

To say I struggled with this List item is an understatement. I understood the message the editors tried to convey: A woman’s ability to communicate via kiss can be powerful. It can be empowering. It can be a lot of positive things, indeed.

The rabbit hole I fell down, instead, was thinking about how much time I spent in my teens and 20s convincing myself I was OK with casual dating. Exploring my preferences carefully, because I didn’t want people to get the wrong idea about me. Being scared to have my reputation tarnished by one awful frog I’d mistaken for a prince. Finally letting go of it all when I moved to New York, where I learned very quickly it’s the smallest world of 9 million people you can imagine.

Thankfully, very few of my experiences shook me to my core. I wasn’t taken advantage of or abused or any of the negative things that can happen after something as simple as a kiss. I know not everyone is as lucky.

And while I understand the power a kiss can hold — it’s the gateway to intimacy and often still heralded as the first test of a potential partner — I don’t agree with this item on The List.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments! I’m eager to hear your perspective.

Courtesy of SickChirpse.com

30 Before 30

In honor of my upcoming 30th birthday, I’ve researched countless “things to do before 30” lists. And while there are plenty to choose from, I kept coming back to “Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30.”

The List was originally published in Glamour by columnist Pamela Redmond Satran in 1997. Over the next 30 weeks, I’ll be tackling each item on The List and reflecting about it here… publicly (gulp). I hope you enjoy and we can grow together. After all, turning older is a privilege denied to many.

By 30, you should know…
17. How you feel about having kids.

They sure aren’t making the second half of The List easy, huh? No softballs in sight, where I can say “Well, of course I know that!”

Stylist and entrepreneur Rachel Zoe writes this week’s reflection, providing her perspective as someone who became a first-time mom at age 38. She and her husband, Rodger, had been together for 20 years — always knowing they wanted kids, but never necessarily slowing down to do anything about it.

She was, admittedly, quite lucky to become pregnant on their first try. And despite having such luck, Zoe urges women who know they want to have kids: “Don’t wait! I missed the window of being a young mom, and I’m super envious of my friends who had kids earlier than I did, because they can take their time and choose to have another child (or several!) if they want.”

This is where Zoe lost me a little bit. She’s making two assumptions here — first, that women who know they want children have the means, e.g., the partner and finances, in order to do so. And second, that they’ll be able to have as many children as they desire. While that sounds like a lovely landscape to live in, it just isn’t reality.

Plenty of women wish to have children, but want to be married and have a house before that. Or have prioritized their career, much like Zoe did, and want to be on more secure financial footing before bringing children into the world. Others still have fertility issues, complications and a whole host of other reasons why they’re not able to just close their eyes and wish for a child to appear, no problem.

Courtesy of GloriaBowman.com

Stepping off my proverbial soapbox, I also struggled to make sense of Zoe’s final point. She concludes by saying “there are many paths to motherhood… adopting, finding a surrogate… or being the best aunt ever. The point is that the path is in your hands.”

She’s urged us to not wait, but shouldn’t we be a bit more careful with such life-changing decisions? Perhaps this is the 29-year-old single girl in me shouting, but I don’t take the topic of motherhood lightly. Although I’m someone who takes forever to commit to a rug, I do believe bringing life into the world is not something to be rushed. There are many paths, but that doesn’t mean you have to sprint down any one of them before 30.

I can say with near certainty that my perspective on this would be markedly different if I were a woman who knew her own stance on motherhood. I’m not convinced I want children, but I don’t want biology or anything else keeping me from that option. I’ve thought about what paths I may take in the future, but I’m not rushing toward any of them when I know I’m not ready to be responsible for another life at this stage of my own.

For now, I’ll stick to being the best aunt ever. It’s fulfilling enough without having society shouting in my ear about what I should do. As I don’t have a 20-year partner to mull this over with, I think my current decision is just fine. And if I’m feeling particularly stumped, there’s a wikiHow article for that. Bonus: This blog post by Gloria Bowman eloquently emphasizes the plight of women without children. Please enjoy.

Courtesy of wikiHow.com

WO: Weekly Obsessions

Happy International Women’s Day! I hope you’re all able to celebrate the women in your lives every day, but especially so today. If you’re anything like me, you dug out your LRD and toasted the fab females you’re lucky to love 😉

Image Credits Listed Below

  1. Shannon’s visiting!: Hot off the heels of my former roomie’s visit, my cousin Shannon arrives tomorrow! It’ll be her first trip to California and I hope to make it a memorable one. She always brings out the big kid in me, and I always… well, I always entertain her with my impatience for tourists. Just look at those mischievous smirks — it should be a hoot!
  2. Beach Blanket Babylon: As much as I don’t love tourists or touristy things, I will happily see this campy, historical revue in SF anytime! I took Erica last week and am excited to return tomorrow night with Shannon. The hats and humor are outrageous, the songs are fantastic and it truly is a can’t-miss experience.
  3. JLSF March Madness Kickoff Party: As Provisional (AKA first-year) members of the Junior League of San Francisco, we put on a fundraiser for the League. Our March Madness Kickoff Party is next Thursday, March 16, and is sure to be a success. We’ll have a silent auction, wine pull, photo booth and games — what’s not to love? Get your tickets (or make a donation) here.
  4. “Girls” – Beyoncé: This isn’t my fave of Beyoncé’s body of work, but there is arguably no better female anthem than this. Top five, at least. I heard it blasting in my barre class this morning, on my Chariot ride to work (props to Maria for the lady power!), and am pumping it now for good vibes only. Who run this mother?

Images courtesy of: FB, FunCheapSF, JLSF, Billboard

WO: Weekly Obsessions

It’s a cliché for a reason, but hindsight is often 20/20. I’ve struggled with feeling like I’m spinning my wheels, can’t get my head above water and all of the other phrases used to describe anxious fears. I know I’ll get through it, and I will come out stronger — but getting there is the hard part. So here’s what’s on my mind this week that’s been a welcome change:

Image Credits Listed Below

  1. My Blue Apron Anniversary: Last Friday marked two years since I started using Blue Apron! I’ve enjoyed becoming a better home cook — one who knows more than how to boil water — and I’ve discovered countless recipes to add to my repertoire. Plus, I’ve had the pleasure of introducing lots of friends and family to the service, which is a win-win-win in my book!
  2. Women March around the World: My heart swelled seeing the outpouring of peaceful protesting last Saturday, from SF to Sydney and everywhere in between. People of all backgrounds and varying perspectives are allowed to voice their opinions, and we aren’t all going to agree. But at the end of the day, to see millions of concerned world citizens come together… it truly took my breath away.
  3. My 100-day Meditation Streak: Speaking of breathing, I’ve dedicated myself over the past nine months to practice self-care with meditation. I use the Calm app, and just hit a 100-day streak yesterday! It isn’t always easy to find 10 minutes to myself, but committing to this practice has kept me far more grounded and centered than I could have imagined.
  4. Gasparilla Invades SF: We’re bringing Tampa’s finest tradition straight to SF! Tired of missing out on the festivities, a college friend and I have organized an event to celebrate as sea wenches and swashbucklers. We may not get a key to the city, but I have a feeling it’ll be as authentic as can be. Yo-ho!

Images courtesy of: Twitter (modified by me), TwistedSifter, Me, Visit Tampa Bay

WO: Weekly Obsessions

There were plenty of scary news stories, social injustices, and other important topics flooding our feeds this past week. I’m addressing it the only way I know how when I’m overwhelmed: Reverting to childhood nostalgia.

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  1. Pokémon Go: I’m sorry to acknowledge it, but you can’t go anywhere without hearing someone talk about this damn game. I personally haven’t played it myself — nor do I plan to — but something that permeates every conversation and literally every meeting of mine this week at least deserves an honorable mention. I just wish it came with a dash of common sense.
  2. Lucky Strike: Before this past weekend, I’d only enjoyed beverages and light snacks at this SF franchise. I decided to go old-school with a birthday bowling party here, and it ended up being a ridiculously fun evening surrounded by friends. The drinks were strong, the games were not, and the ‘90s–’00s jams really kept us going.
  3. Jennifer Aniston: America’s sweetheart wrote an engaging and informative essay for HuffPo, published yesterday, entitled “For the Record.” Among her many points made, it’s vital our culture acknowledge that, as women: “We are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies.” Preach, Rachel Green. Preach.
  4. “Just Like Fire” – P!nk: Falling down the rabbit hole doesn’t sound so bad when it comes with a soundtrack like this. Plus, I’ve loved P!nk since she came on the music scene in 1999, which either makes me admittedly old or adorably loyal. Either way, this one’s on repeat.

Images courtesy of: Brands of the World, Lucky Strike, PopSugar, Celeb Mix

WO: Weekly Obsessions

This one’s for the ladies! Side note: Every time I say that, I think of Tina Fey’s scene in “Baby Mama” where she gets on the turntables and plays “Lady in Red” at a Manhattan nightclub.

OK, back to business:
Image Credits Listed Below

  1. International Women’s Day: Yesterday’s worldwide celebration of women was, simply put, awesome. Whether you shared inspirational quotes, sentimental stories or simply a smile to the ladies in your life, I hope you had a lovely day 🙂
  2. Saraswati’s Hijab Transformations: Talk about talent — this Malaysian makeup artist uses her hijab and makeup to transform into pop culture icons, from Disney personalities to comic book characters. Check out more of her work on Instagram @queenofluna.
  3. Ipsy: My brother and sister-in-law gifted me this beauty bag subscription service for Christmas, and “obsessed” is an understatement. The bags are super cute and reusable, and I’ve already fallen for a few of the products. It’s better than Birchbox, in my humble opinion.
  4. Spotify’s Women in Music & Culture Playlists: My fave music service also got in on the International Women’s Day festivities. Spotify released 15 playlists from various genres, highlighting decades of iconic females. I’m really digging the Women of Pop and Women of Country compilations… what about you?

Images courtesy of: Quotes Giant, Instagram, Ipsy, Spotify