You know the saying, “If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans”? I feel like that’s the definition of how this past week has been for me, folks.
You may already be well aware how Type A I am about planning, organization and attention to detail. Pshhh, that all goes out the window when the 24 hours in a day seem to vanish in the blink of an eye.
Between multiple birthday celebrations, a work trip (with a surprise snowfall!), candidate interviews, review cycles and a whole lotta other #firstworldproblems, I’m still dumbfounded that it’s already (and yet, only) Wednesday.
So here’s my penance offering — please enjoy and don’t @ me, bro!
OK, party people: I know we’re all feeling like 2017 is never going to freaking end, and the 25 days until Jan. 1 are going to take forever.
Lest we forget how eager we were for this year, though? “It has to be better,” we said. Ha! How foolish. In this 24-hour news cycle and constant need to publish our opinions about such news, there is no escaping it. I do my best to keep off a soapbox, particularly when it comes to social media. I’ve found the fine folks at SNL can often turn my clusterf— of floating thoughts into easily consumable content.
And since I’m driving the bitter bus from Taggart and Leavitt going to FSU; Trump and the RNC choosing party over public safety; and the late-night, last-minute tax deal I’ll just urge you all to take a little journey.
Even if you’ve seen it before, I suggest you pack your bags for a revisit:
2 posts in one day? I must really like you guys.
In all seriousness, I couldn’t possibly let my 279-week streak of obsessions die, despite this morning’s reflections and revelations.
Something I think we all could use right now, is a mental break. So, please enjoy these funny dog videos at your leisure.
I’ll be back at it next week with our regularly scheduled programming.
After five packed days back in NYC, it’s safe to say it’s a good thing I no longer live there. My skin, liver, wallet and waistline desperately needed a break from the city that never sleeps. Side note: I, too, apparently never sleep while there. Good thing I’ve got an SNL-laden tribute this week to keep spirits high in my disoriented state.
- Trump’s Halloween “Apprentice” Promo: OK, so this is obviously a throwback to when Darrell Hammond was the king of impersonating Donald Trump, and not Alec Baldwin. It’s kind of eerie to watch it back now, as Trump is now one of our candidates for President, and the impression is dead-on. I recall giggling endlessly at his attempt at an evil laugh, so I hope you’ll enjoy it, too.
- Ashlee Simpson’s Lip-sync Hoedown: In that very same episode, Ashlee Simpson gave us a dance to remember forever. She delivered hit single “Pieces of Me” just fine in the first performance, but in her second shot at the stage, that same song — with vocals — began playing. What would I do in that situation? God only knows. But her awkward jig is burned into our brains, so I hope I would have come up with something a little less memorable.
- Melaniade: Of particular relevance with the impending election was last week’s pre-filmed short, featuring the women in Donald Trump’s life taking him down (and taking him back) à la Beyoncé. If this doesn’t make you laugh, I don’t know what will. It also might make you cringe, but hey, that’s kind of what SNL does best.
- Bruno Mars Is “24K Magic”: I was disappointed to see Emily Blunt hosting last week — not because she married John Krasinski and I loathe her for it — but because I’ve always enjoyed Bruno Mars as a host/musical guest, and he was just singing this time. The thing is, though, he’s never just singing. He’s a performer through and through, and his dynamic dancers put on quite the show.
I’ve gone pretty much nonstop since last week, even writing this in between happy hours and other social outings. I’m not complaining, although my marathon of watching Olympics coverage has slowed down considerably.
And, as a sure sign that I’m officially 29, I was just “laying down for a nap” last Friday before this Rave of Thrones event, only to wake up hours later after missing the whole thing.
- Britney/Taylor Mashup Night: I made up for lost time Saturday night with my first-ever visit to famed SF nightclub Bootie, because why else? It was Britney/Taylor Mashup Night! I expected a little more of “Bad Blood… One More Time,” but was truly amazed at the DJs’ abilities to mix Eminem, Black Sabbath and more with the queens of pop.
- Red Dog: Another day, another happy hour. This SOMA bar was the second stop on a night where I said farewell to both current co-workers and former colleagues who were leaving their respective companies. Red Dog was a perfect setting — friendly staff, delicious food and strong drinks.
- Barry’s Boot Camp: In case it wasn’t completely clear, I’m in need of a detox more than anything. Since that’s unlikely to ever happen, I’ve instead taken advantage of promotions through work to try “The Best Workout in the World.” It’s kicked my ass, motivated me and been, truly, one of the best group fitness classes I’ve ever tried. Best of all, the friends I made go with me are still speaking to me.
- Jessica’s “Daily Affirmation”: This toddler’s uplifting pep talk went viral a few years ago, but has recently made a resurgence and I’m not mad about it. Whether it’s your hair or your pajamas or your whole house, I hope you too have things you like and believe you can do anything good!
As I’ve been reminded on my first day back to work in nearly a week, today is Wednesday. Please bear with me as I attempt to form coherent and complete sentences.
- Domaine Chandon: My friends hosted this weekend’s wedding guests with a Jolly Trolley of Love through a few Napa wineries, and our first stop — at Chandon — was my fave. The staff was superb, the bubbles were flowing and I refrained from any references to SNL’s Moët Chandon girls (language NSFW).
- Gott’s Roadside: After a day of wine tasting, we were in dire need of lunch (and more alcohol). This iconic restaurant in St. Helena accommodated our orders in advance, allowing our precious party planner a faster feat of feeding 19 people. The burgers were bomb, as were the shakes and sips.
- S’well: After this weekend’s shenanigans, I’m in full detox mode. Well, except for the three happy hours and one rave (that’s right) I have this week. During the day, at least, I stay happily hydrated with my fancy S’well bottle. I thought the price point was steep, but I consistently get at least 100oz of ice-cold water daily thanks to this little lifesaver. And, proceeds from every sale help give drinking water to children in need. Ahhh.
- “Can’t Stop the Feeling!” – Justin Timberlake: It could be the fact that *NSYNC just reunited for JC Chasez’s FORTIETH birthday or that JT’s voice always gets the people going, but no matter the reason, I’m really feeling this summer song. Bonus: It’s apparently on the soundtrack for the upcoming “Trolls” movie — so look out for that.
I’m happy to report I made it safely back to SF, and even happier to report my four-day migraine has finally subsided. Is it possible my silent apartment was, in fact, deafening after eight days of nonstop fun with two nieces, two dogs and family galore?
- RIO 2016: If you know anything about me from 2012 and 2014, you know “obsessed” is an understatement for how I feel about the Olympics. The opening ceremonies in Rio are Friday, and I can’t quite wait to fill the DVR with gymnastics, beach volleyball, swimming, sailing and speedwalking.
- Local Olympians: It wouldn’t be fair to mention my love for the games without highlighting alumni of my high school and college Greek life, respectively. Ryan Lochte already has 11 Olympic swimming medals, so why not add some more to the collection — and with a new ‘do? And Paige Railey hopes to sail her way to victory in her second Olympic games. Good luck, FL friends!
- Cosmo + Tasha Tie the Knot: In non-Olympics news, a good friend from my Tampa days will marry the love of his life in Napa next week. The celebrations start Friday, though, so it’s a good a time as ever to wish them well. Cheers to all this next chapter will bring, you two — I can’t wait to celebrate!
- U.S. Men’s Basketball Sings Vanessa Carlton: Is there anything better than a bunch of grown men, who are professional basketball players, singing a sickly sweet pop song? I submit that there is not. Carmelo just isn’t having it, but the other guys seem to know a good thing when they hear it.