I’d like to say the week has improved drastically since my Murphy’s Law Monday, but I’m a terrible liar. To keep my head from spinning off “Exorcist” style, here’s what has kept my membrane sane.

If you can’t identify Betty in this picture, you need to revaluate your life.

Betty White: I’ve adored Bets since I started watching late-night reruns of “The Golden Girls” a decade ago. The theme song is my ringtone AND I have a koozie of these women, for fuck’s sake. Magz gave me “If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won’t)” for my birthday, and I’ve since rekindled my love for the old bag of bones. Thank you for being a friend, indeed.

Food. What? All of the other pictures have captions.

EVOS:One saving grace about this week was today’s lunch, brought to me by the mall food court. I was too lazy (again) to go to the grocery store — get off my back already. After a bit of a wait, the manager gave us $10 gift cards for the inconvenience. That’ll cover one meal, which is just fiiine by me.

Not the boy from gym. But oh, how I wish it were.

Smexy Boy at Gym: OK, “obsession” is a little strong, considering we just met. And by met, I mean that I creepily watched from afar as he stretched it out this morning to the beat of the booming slow jamz. I don’t know if it was an intentional break from the trance/pop/rock mix they normally have on, but I welcomed it with open arms. Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

I actually think Alex is the least tolerable, but how great is this shot?

Real Housewives: From the insane first half of the New York reunion to this week’s hilarious New Jersey ep to the triumphant return of Beverly Hills (thanks, Rachel, for alerting me to the promo!), I am all about the RH empire.

Soon to come: Another band I love, maybe some more Witty in Fitty. I can tell you’re peeing your pants with excitement.