Tag Archive | jersey shore

How “Jersey Shore” Changed My Life

Tonight is the premiere of the sixth and final season of MTV’s “Jersey Shore.” A show that defined many college nights (and drinking games, as a result), I’m sad to say farewell to my favorite guidos and guidettes. Are they ridiculous? Absolutely. But they’ve changed my life in so many ways:

Every house should have a duck phone: Snooki struggling with the duck phone in the first season remains one of my favorite moments from the years. I hear eBay has a nice selection.

 

FPC is the only way to be: Fist pump, Push up, Chapstick isn’t just a motto, it’s a way of life — and I much prefer it to Gym, Tan, Laundry (GTL). Who wants to do laundry when you can just slather on some sweet lip balm?

 

Hooking up with roommates is messy: Virtually every cast mate has been with the other, and the only result is massive drama. This isn’t surprising, so much as it is a car wreck you can’t stop watching.

 

Dissolved my love of leopard: Any appreciation I had for animal print quickly dissipated after seeing Snooki and crew completely wear out the trend. The poof is right up there too.

 

What REAL drunk and disorderly looks like: I grew up in Daytona, and I went to college … but nothing can quite prepare you for a drunk Deena on the loose (cuca out and all).

Expanded my vocabulary: Among many other words and phrases, I am now familiar with these JS-ims: grenade (ugly person, usually girl), smush (have sex), cuca (lady bits), gorilla juicehead (buff dude, without brains).

How to be the “the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet”: It’s Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola’s trademark line, but I didn’t get it until we were a few seasons in. She’s a whole new level of cray cray.

 

No relationship will ever be as f’ed up as Ron and Sam: Speaking of Sammi, her on-again, off-again relationship with Ronnie Ortiz-Magro goes down in history as the most tumultuous of all time. God help us if they ever have kids.

 

How to goof off at work: Summers at The Shore Store, a gelato shop and pizzeria simply provided endless hours for the cast to goof off. Hiding from the boss, dipping out for a drink, picking up strangers … I’m not even mad, really; I’m impressed.

This is only a small sampling of the life lessons these crazy people have provided. What are your favorite “Jersey Shore” moments?

WO: Weekly Obsessions

This week has been pretty rough — like a same shit, different toilet kind of week. I am in serious need of a vacay. Lucky for me, I’m headed to San Francisco next week for play (oh, and work). Until I get to The City by the Bay, here’s what’ll keep me happy.

Mila Kunis: I’ve loved Mila since her spoiled Jackie days on “That 70’s Show.” Her roles in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and “Black Swan” were great, but 2011 has treated her best. She’s agreed to attend a military ball with a Marine, was fantastic in “Friends with Benefits” and she just told off a reporter on behalf of JT — in Russian  —удивительный (or, awesome!)

My Scrabble Ring: Arguably the best $5 I’ve ever spent, I absolutely adore the Scrabble ring I purchased from robotsnappingturtle on Etsy. It’s simple, sweet and it showcases my word-nerdiness … many thanks to Rachel for the find!

The Triumphant Return of “Jersey Shore”: Viva Italia! I know we’re still a day away from the premiere, but I can already guarantee that the guidos and guidettes will provide endless entertainment this season. Putting a bunch of Italian-Americans in a foreign country = let the clusterfuck begin.

All Things Football: The lockout is over, and America has been celebrating for a week straight. From a local strip club’s marquee (“Our girls won’t lock out NFL players”) to “The League” having something to film this season to the fantasy draft I just calendared, it’s about time the frenzy began. Let’s. Do. This.

Hope your week is swell, mothatruckas!