In the interest of attempting a different challenge every month this year, it should come as no surprise that I chose to tackle an hour of reading for each day of February.
It was supposed to be a no-brainer: I’m a writer, and I love to read. Until recently, it was literally part of my job responsibilities, so I wanted to keep it up during personal time despite the change in my workday. I’ve also struggled with reading for fun since I haven’t had a 90min commute (not complaining!).
As a baseline, I would read anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours a day without this challenge at hand – so I wasn’t starting completely from scratch to begin this habit. I’m also a fast reader. I read five books in January and I figured with this goal in mind, I could likely knock out another 6-10, despite the shorter month, with a dedicated hour each day.
But, you’ll see soon how it actually negatively impacted my desire and eagerness to devour a book.
To start, I’d just begun The Last Story of Mina Lee, a recent pick from my book club (inspired by Reese’s Book Club picking it). I flew through a lot of Nancy Jooyoun Kim’s 384 pages, but was stalled in parts because I was mentally exhausted and found myself reading the same sentences over and over.
I was leading a few big projects at work and looking at apartments in my spare time, so it was not a “normal” month … but what does “normal” even mean anymore? I’m always tough on myself and felt like I should just keep pushing through the books, instead of showing myself some grace and being OK with reading less (or not at all!) for a few days.
Instead of looking forward to my little reading ritual before bed, I would grumble through it and viewed it as a chore.
That changed with The Year of Magical Thinking, which had been on my list for a while and was recently recommended by my gentleman friend. I did zero research to remind myself before digging in, and this one cut deep – Didion’s experience in the first year after her husband’s death cracked open my heart in ways other stories of grief haven’t.
Although its 227 pages took me a week to get through, TYoMT got me energized to dig into another sad read I’d had on my list for a bit: Shuggie Bain. A heavy hitter at 430 pages, this one had me in fits and starts where I struggled to get through and then couldn’t put it down. I completely understand why it’s been awarded so much as Douglas Stuart’s debut novel.
In need of a palate cleanser, I decided The Office of Historical Corrections would be a good fit because of its setup as a collection of seven short stories. I knocked out the 269 pages in three days – most of it on a weekend day while lounging and losing myself in Danielle Evans’s prose.
Finally, I somehow thought I could tackle The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck with just five days left in February. This iconic novel about farmer Wang Lung’s life remains on best books lists EIGHTY YEARS after publication for good reason, but a fast read it is not. I finished it this morning and was only about 300 pages in (out of 418) at month’s end.
Along with these titles, I also read a few chapters of Bringing Up Bébé, which I really enjoy when I remember to pick it back up. I didn’t count any of the reading I did via articles on news, entertainment, sports, etc., though that probably adds up to an hour or two each day.
All this to say, forcing myself into a challenge to complete an hour of reading each day worked against me.
Through my therapist, I listed what a perfect day would look like and managed to write down “reading” three times without even realizing it.
So I found a pattern that works better for me just in the last week, where I start each day reading a few chapters of something and then start reading emails, texts, etc. I continue to read each night before bed (and I continue to fall asleep a few times a week with the chapter open, my lamp on, and my mouth wide open).
Taking the pressure off myself to set a timer or achieve this goal exactly as I envisioned it is a work in progress for my perfectionist nature. But, there’s a million self-help books I can check out when I’m ready to climb that mountain 🙂
Do you have reading resolutions? What helps you let go of goals that aren’t serving you? Let me know in the comments below – and as always, thanks for reading.
*If you read nothing else besides this sentence and then immediately jump to the weight-loss part, remember that I am not a doctor and to “Consult your physician before beginning any diet, nutrition, or fitness plan.” Thanks, Google.
This was my third or fourth annual attempt at the Whole30 plan, which millions of people have found success with in a variety of ways. The primary one is weight loss, of course, or else it likely wouldn’t have the intense following it does.
And while weight loss is on my mind pretty much every day, I do try to think about it more in terms of how I’ll feel: attacking workouts more easily (including trekking San Francisco hills); indulging in rich foods sometimes, but not all the time; and exploring my relationship with food on a deeper level than “this is bad” or “that wasn’t worth the calories.”
There are a few cornerstones of the Whole30 program, which I inevitably break annually. So while I won’t get a gold star for doing it 100 percent, I do show myself some grace for doing better than the weeks or year that led up to my restart:
Don’t weigh or measure yourself in any way until after Day 30. I usually weigh myself daily – but I couldn’t bring myself to do that in the depths of 2020 when I knew I was gaining weight at an alarming rate and not doing anything to change it. I began 2021 by weighing myself weekly, just to log in my WW (AKA Weight Watchers) app, and tried my very hardest to not get overly excited about big losses or defeated from smaller changes.
Don’t even consider the possibility of a “slip.” This is entirely logical and completely doable, but I’ve previously allowed one slip for my annual Gasparilla Invades SF party at the end of January. While this didn’t happen in 2021 – and I thought I’d get through without temptation to drink – I did allow myself to slip with a taco salad on day 17. And, I felt like crap the next day so I more than made up for it in post-taco shell indulgence. I also indulged in one piece of buttered toast… but more on that later.
Eat when you’re hungry. Again, entirely logical. I was reading Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting, which is fascinating on so many levels but also unpacks the French approach to mealtimes. In broad strokes, they eat at 8am (breakfast), 12pm (lunch), 4pm (snack), and 8pm (dinner), and don’t eat outside of those designations. I wanted to try this out for myself, so I ended up eating a snack at 4pm when I wasn’t always hungry or I was hungry before 8pm but made myself wait as close to the target mealtime as possible.
Now, there are a million different ways to approach this program and each person should absolutely examine their individual relationship with food, understand that an elimination/restrictive program is not a sustainable lifestyle, and everyone has different definitions of what healthy looks like for them. My experience is one of litchrlly millions and has looked different each year I’ve done it.
So, what did I eat?
Before I give you all the answers to unlocking the universe,** it’s important to note I had to change my approach to food. I had to meal plan. I had to meal prep. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, I wouldn’t succeed if I left things to chance and hoped for the best in the moment.
I’d seen the all-too-quick temptation of ordering pizza and eating it over the next four meals, thinking that was OK for portion control. I’d fallen all too easily in the working remotely trap of going straight from 8am until 3pm, only to look up and realize I hadn’t eaten lunch. I’d grab a snack and then have two dinners (or one American-sized plate) to make up for my missed lunch.
I thought emotional eating meant you cried into your ice cream or only smiled with a carb in hand. I rationalized away all of these things because I’ve never been thin, never had a flat stomach, never known what it meant to be slender. And I didn’t start – have never started – an approach to lifestyle change expecting those kinds of results.
But damn, did I want to feel in control of myself again.
I first referenced my spreadsheet with recipes and meal plans I’ve used before. I knew the temptation to eat or drink socially would be gone – San Francisco was under only takeout/delivery orders for the foreseeable future. (Even with this lifted, on Jan. 28, I was so close to the end I made myself stick to the plan, including this Saturday while sitting outside, masked, at bars and sipping sparkling water.)
I opened endless browser tabs with recipes. I looked for common ingredients to minimize a bottle of this or giant bag of that and have it go to waste. I invested in a meal-planning pad because writing (in case you’ve noticed) helps me commit to and be energized about an idea.
My mom agreed to try Whole30 for her first time, and we were in constant contact about recipes and ingredients. My sister-in-law has had incredible success following WW, so we three texted regularly with ideas and motivation. My girlfriends from high school and a good friend in Chicago were recommitting to WW as well, so I had plenty of humans to turn to in times of desperation or creative drought.
My meal plan each week consisted of:
- 2 breakfast options: a quick/premade one for weekdays and more exciting one for weekends
- 3 lunch and dinner options: three W30-approved recipes with four servings each, plus one takeout meal split into two portions
- 3 snack options: W30-approved nuts or plantain chips, plus some protein bars – which vary in W30 approvals and can actually make you crave sugar more
Breakfast: I thought baked egg cups were a revelation until I grew very tired of reheating already-cooked eggs. I often ended up with two cups of hot coffee or one cup of cold brew, plus a Tbsp. of Silk Coconut creamer and eating a couple of eggs scrambled in the microwave (45sec, check, 45sec). Weekends with sliced avocado, air-fried bacon, or bowls of sliced fruit were worth the delicious wait.
Lunch/Dinner: I wanted so badly to be into the same meal a fourth time around but sometimes abandoned it for a quick salad or anything at all besides the same meat and veggies I’d had the past three days. I optimized my laziness for meals made on sheet pans or in slow cookers – because signing an apartment lease in February 2020 meant living without a dishwasher would be fine 🙄 I finally bought an Instant Pot last year but it’s still in the box… so I looked for recipes to crisp up veggies in my mini air fryer while meat roasted in the oven.
Each week, I ordered one takeout meal of grilled, non-breaded wings with two side salads; and I split the entire meal into two portions. I got fancy and took advantage of a brisket add-on one week, then drooled while thinking about the brisket the whole following week. When I ordered it a second time (with a free piece of buttered toast!), I got food poisoning and promptly swore off brisket for a long time to come.
Snacks: Plantain chips and 5lb bags of Halos are my BFFs when it comes to W30-approved snacks. I also found my way to Lara Bars and RXBars, trying different approved flavors each week. These are high on my WW Points Plan (7-9 on Blue) so I felt a little pang of guilt each time (also see above re: craving sugars more).
All of this takes time. And while I don’t have anyone but myself to worry about, I also don’t have anyone but myself to count on for grocery shopping, prepping, cooking, and cleaning. I live within walking distance of a Trader Joe’s, Target, and some local markets – but with the dining restrictions in place, lines cropped up again and I’m not a fan of standing in the rain to schlep groceries from multiple places (without a car, mind you). I will absolutely throw money at the problem and am in a privileged position to be able to afford fresh food, selected by a third-party shopper, who delivers it to my apartment within a 2-hour window I select.
Of all the recipes I tried, there are quite a few I’ll keep in my regular rotation:
- Whole30 Smoky Sweet Potato Chili
- Whole30 Garlic Shrimp with Sweet Potato Noodles: I bought premade sweet potato noodles, instead of spiralizing myself and I’d halve this next time because reheating shrimp for days grossed me out
- Easy Lemon Garlic Chicken Thighs
- Whole30 Spicy Pork & Pesto Zoodles: I bought premade zucchini noodles, instead of spiralizing myself
- Whole30 Instant Pot Sesame Chicken: As my IP sits unopened, and I couldn’t get arrowroot powder, I made the chicken on the stove top in a skillet
- Whole30 Loaded Baked Potato Soup
So, how did I feel?
Overall, as with years past, I’ve felt more clear-headed, more focused, and more energized. This is without keeping up with daily workouts, mind you. And I wasn’t boozing *that* much in 2020 considering bars were closed so much and I really don’t enjoy drinking at home alone. I slept much better on the days I got longer walks in, but even a 20-minute walk felt invigorating instead of like a thing I had to do. Turns out there’s a lot of time to fill if I stop working before 7pm and don’t eat dinner until 8.
Fruits tasted sweeter, because they were my main source of sugar. I got pops of flavor from roasted veggies and marinated meat, instead of the hollow (though delicious) taste of french fries or heavy (though delicious) taste of cream, cheese, and all of the dairy I could get my hands on.
My stomach didn’t feel distended, I didn’t wake up groggy from a restless night, and I was thinking about food constantly – but in a more balanced and mindful way. Instead of “What will I eat next?,” I was excited to try a new recipe or grateful to have leftovers and not spend $30 on delivery. ← This wasn’t how I felt every single day, mind you, but it was more often than not.
Now, the first day back from “break,” I learned about a change in my role at work. The next day, the attempted coup at the U.S. Capitol stirred up a million emotions, from anger to disbelief. Inauguration Day brought me to happy tears with every historic second of Kamala’s oath and mention of “Second Gentleman” – and then I was told promptly after the ceremony that my role was changing even more, including a change to my manager and fundamental projects.
Emotional eating had new meaning, the one that is largely agreed upon and I hadn’t considered because I wasn’t crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s: it’s a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions.
Well, shit. Ice cream does make me feel better. But isn’t that true for everyone (besides lactose-intolerant or vegan peeps)? It probably sounds super elementary, but I hadn’t explored my emotional relationship with food because I knew “bad” foods tasted good and that was that. With my adjusted eating times, I told myself during tough work days that I could have my snack at 4pm or wait until breakfast if I’d already had my 8pm dinner and was in a glass case of emotion.
So, how much weight did I lose?
This might be the only other sentence you read, so I won’t make you wait any longer… In the course of 31 days, I lost 13 lbs. Remember: This is my singular experience, and my BMI was considered Obese so I will very likely lose weight at a faster pace than someone with, say, 5% weight loss as a goal.
I was quite stubborn about not taking before and after pictures, because I don’t want there to be a fixed “after” (and yes, without a haircut in months and feeling my absolute grossest, I didn’t want it documented on the interweb forever).
But I can say, going into February, I’ll take away the following key changes:
- Fixed mealtimes: as close to 8am, 12pm, 4pm, and 8pm as possible
- Recipe exploration: Even with SF slowly reopening, it feels good to create for myself more often than not
- Understanding emotional eating: reaching for fruit or healthy snacks, instead of cookies or chips – and if I really want those, I’ll have to walk myself to the store, instead of keeping them at arm’s reach
Phew! This felt like a therapy session in itself. I’m curious if you’ve tried Whole30 or similar reset plans, and what your experience was. Do you have favorite recipes or “hacks” to make it feel less stressy?
**Nope, not gonna find that here either.Read More…
Happy TWENTY-freakin-EIGHTEEN, y’all! I caught a lovely cold while in New York, but that didn’t stop me from hosting close friends for a confetti-poppin’, show-stoppin’, F%*! 2017-themed Sunday shindig.
You know what did stop me, though? Being off from work Monday, then working from home while battling the cold yesterday, then coming into the office today and thinking it was maybe Monday again?
It didn’t help that I went to bed last night kind of, sort of, absolutely terrified our Tweeter in Chief was going to start a nuclear war. Sleep much?
So, I’m kind of failing at putting together WOs this year but that only means I can resolve to do better. And since a recent Lyft driver forever ruined (or improved?) Camila Cabello’s “Havana,” I figure I might as well do the same for you. Enjoy! We can only go up from here, right?
2016 was a garbage dumpster year, start to finish. It began with my (now ex-) boyfriend being sick last-minute and unable to celebrate with me. He insisted I carry through our plans to attend a couples’ party. On New Year’s Eve. Alone.
He then dumped me 3 days before my birthday, but I still went on my scheduled 4th of July in Tahoe couples’ trip. For my 29th birthday. Alone.
I returned to SF and was spit on by a homeless man that day. And lost my 80-day meditation streak. Namaste.
All of this pales — of course — in comparison to the traumas and tragedies that shook our world this year. Terrorist attacks, hate crimes, unfathomable violence, ignorant and misinformed movements, Brexit and Trump’s election, more celebrity deaths than I can even recall.
I lost a friend to brain cancer. I lost another to kidney failure. But friends lost their spouses and siblings and parents and children. They experienced pain I can only imagine, pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
I also gained a niece. I gained more vacation time than ever. I gained friends through various volunteer and social efforts. I gained understanding beyond the SF bubble about just how marginalized so many feel.
So in an effort to resolve the shitty-shit-shit of a year this was, I’m turning what I can into positive can-dos:
- Understand the world: I traveled more than ever this year, but it was all domestic and I’m itching for stamps on my passport in 2017. If I can make it to Asia, South America or parts of Europe I haven’t been, I hope to gain a broader view of how millions of people live. What experiences are part of their everyday lives? What can I do to understand my privilege more, both at home and abroad?
- Spend smarter: All of that travel left me in some tight financial spots, as I sometimes neglect to budget for living in the most expensive U.S. city. Rather than “Say Yes” to everything (which went full-force after my breakup), I need to be thoughtful about what each Yes costs me. I don’t ever want to be in a position where I can’t donate to my favorite causes or help those in need, so a finance fine-tooth comb is in order. First up: I’ll be the last person in SF to stop paying for cable!
- Use my voice: I tend to shut down during heated discussion and debates, often because I feel most are set in their ways and not willing to listen — only shout their perspectives. I see, though, how damaging silence can be. I choose to approach 2017 thoughtfully: speaking up when I feel compelled, understanding I may be the only one listening in a dialogue, and removing myself when necessary. I don’t have to be vocal on every single thing I care about, but I can use my voice with conviction, knowing I’ve done my research and will remain respectful.
- Take care of myself: The quintessential resolution is getting a makeover of its own from me at midnight. Yes, I’d love to finally hit my goal weight. But more important, I’d like to feel as good about myself as I do after a Toastmasters speech or a volunteer event. From continuing meditation streaks and therapy sessions, eating foods that nourish my body, challenging myself with new fitness goals and being cognizant of my needs in a relationship, I can take on any garbage dumpster 2017 throws at me.
What are your resolutions for 2017? As always, you’ll inspire me to be the best Wittyburg I can be.
And however you’re celebrating the New Year, please be safe out there. Here’s an actual rendering from the future, of me at midnight:
As the final hours of 2014 tick by, it’s only natural that we reflect on what the year has personally meant to us all. Our social-media feeds are flooded with Year In Review recaps, engagement announcements, pregnancy proclamations and countless other reasons to celebrate. But we’d be remiss if we didn’t also think of sad events from the past 365 days: deaths, disasters, tragedies and the like.
Each year brings a roller coaster of emotions, and 2014 was no different for me (or anyone else). From moving to a new dream city and seeing my niece develop into a toddling tyke to losing my grandpa and experiencing the final firsts without my dad, the tears have been both happy and sad.
My wish for each of you as the countdown begins tonight is that you hold your loved ones a little tighter. Laugh harder. Cry more often. Find inspiration. Celebrate something every single day. Live this life as big as you can, because we don’t know how many more countdowns we’ll be granted.
Cheers to what 2015 will bring — and remember, you don’t need to wait until January 1 to start living the life you want.
It’s only appropriate to kick off 2014 with some resolutions, so why not do it in WO form? And since we all want MORE all the time, here’s what I vow to do more of this year:
- Be More Patient: I was the least patient person I knew BEFORE moving to the busiest city in the world. So, it’s no surprise that I need to work on counting to 10 and taking deep breaths — before I lose it on the subway.
- Explore NYC More: I’ve done a decent job this year seeing the sites and getting lost (no, really). But I think 2014 should be focused on getting to know my new home even better and finding new favorites along the way.
- Be More Selfish: I mean it in the nicest way possible, but I spent a lot of last year traveling to celebrate others’ accomplishments. This year, I’d like to take some “me” time and use my days off for actual vacations. We’ll see how it goes 🙂
- Dance More: In the esteemed words of Kid President, life would be a little better for us all if we just danced more often. Say no more, little guy. I vow to spend the better part of this year making a fool of myself anywhere I can.
What are some of your resolutions for 2014?
Let’s kick off 2012’s WOs with a full-fledged dose of A.D.D., shall we?
- Cereal with a Fork: This comic blog was recently Freshly Pressed, drawing attention from me and a thousand others. Smart, with just the right amount of snark, it covers everything from relationships to pop culture.
- Double Dream Feet: Much better than the original (Double Dream Hands), this YouTube gem still has me laughing, months after first seeing it. Wipe like “safe” … rubber legs!
- 52 Examples Why Florida Is Still the Craziest State: If you ever doubt the pure insanity our dear Sunshine State has to offer, here are 52 reminders. Bonus points: My OG hometown (Port St. Lucie) is reppin’ it hard. Should have trademarked “Floriduh” when I had the chance!
- 20 New Year’s Resolutions for 20-Somethings: If you can’t imagine life without the Kardashians, or you contemplate in Twitter (140-character-or-less thoughts), or if you just need a good laugh — check out these resolutions. Perfectly imperfect, just like your 20s should be.
Now, step kick out to the side — as high as you want to … jazz hands!
My computer is being a total pain in the A, so Wittyburg is going old-school WO tonight. What better way to end this year’s weekly dose of crazy?
“The Middle”: I recently started following this ABC sitcom, and I’m hooked. The janitor from “Scrubs” + a little boy with more quirks than Gaga? Genius. Genius.
Cake Pops: Santa was kind enough to bring me a new mixer and a cake pop maker. So, everyone around me is going into a sugar coma with Mint Chocolate and Red Velvet pops. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The Muppets: From their SNL appearance to their adorable movie and Google Plus commersh, I’m really digging these famous frogs, pigs, dogs and … you get the point.
“Skinny” Eating: With 2011 coming to a close, I’m really killing it as I eat poorly. There are only a few days left to stuff our faces before the resolutions begin and the willpower takes over. Hoo-ray.
It’s time to put on music, it’s time to light the lights …