It’s time for the next installment of my latest series, wherein I complain about first world problems — AKA things I should be grateful I have access to but annoy me anyway.
Today’s post is inspired by the ever-bitter Ben, of the aptly named Ben’s Bitter Blog. Check out his rants for guaranteed grumblings and — more importantly — laughs.
Women wear high heels for a variety of reasons: to add height, feel sexier, complete an outfit or make a statement. But what often comes with this killer footwear is a plethora of problems that last long after the other shoe drops.
The long-term effects of wearing high heels are far from fabulous. From corns and callouses to bunions and EXTRA TOES, I have to ask: Why do we put ourselves through this pain?
Yikes. A. Bee.
But I walked behind a woman yesterday who struggled so much for those three blocks, I wanted to hail her a cab to put her out of her misery. The forecast suggested a downpour, yet she actively chose to traipse through New York in stilettos she couldn’t handle.
Down goes Frazier.
I love dressing up as much as the next girl, but I can’t defend the trend of hobbling along for the sake of wearing sky-high shoes. The styles that used to be reserved for special occasions are now everyday office wear, and I don’t get it.
While I agree that a great pair of heels (any shoe, really) can make a statement, I do not think beauty is pain. If you’re struggling to walk, let alone stand — trade ’em out for a wonderful wedge or (gasp!) seductive sandal.
And even if you can rock any heel height without fail, give your poor tootsies a break at least twice a week to minimize damage. Feet are gross enough without the swollen skin and blistered bunions. You’re welcome for that visual.
Halloween is the only holiday — besides my birthday (an actual holiday, not like every tween who thinks her random day of birth is celebrated worldwide) — for which I begin a countdown weeks prior. I love the costumes, candy and creative decor … despite being easily spooked and loathing scary movies.
Enter “Hocus Pocus,” the perfect Halloween movie.
The only real reason you need to watch it is, well, because it’s Hocus freaking Pocus. But in the event that you’re not yet convinced, BuzzFeed has put together 23 reasons why it’s the best Halloween movie of all time.
I’ve said it before, but SJP is in her best role ever here. Between her silly antics, Bette Midler’s teeth and Kathy Najimy’s crazy expressions, it’s cinematic magic.
Fun fact: When my DVR has a meltdown last year, I was most upset about losing this movie from my stored library. I promptly purchased the DVD that following day.
Hello, Sanderson sisters. Goodbye, productivity.