My Thanksgiving holiday essentially consisted of one shitstorm after another. To save you (and me) the trouble of a lengthy recap, allow me to sum up the weekend in the following helpful bullets:

Wednesday

• Left work at 1 p.m. Helped a stranded co-worker get her car towed, then drove her to Ocala to enjoy her holiday. Got to my house around 8:30 p.m.
• Drank more 2-4-1s than should be legal at Crapplebee’s with Brother. Played bear-ninja-cowboy and had to get a taxi (van) ride home. The mile-and-a-half trip cost $9 but I gave the guy $20 so he wouldn’t come back to kill us.

Thursday – Turkey Day

• Did not get to draw a hand turkey. Very upset.
• Lots of family and friends over for food and drink. Have I mentioned before that my family is insane?
• Annual pinochle tournament begins. No tears … yet.

Friday

• Massages with my mom, Maggie May. The woman told me I am tense all over and need to work on that. Thanks, lady.
• Saw “Morning Glory,” that one with Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton and Harrison Ford. Great afternoon flick to catch.
• Due for a phone upgrade, I went with the iPhone 4. Working very diligently to refrain from becoming obsessed.
• Pinochle tournament continues. My grandpa and 16-year-old cousin win and take the trophies home. Tears ensue.
• “Out” in Daytona: a pub, a gay club ($2 shots!), a lame bar and a strip club. Together again with old friends and a few drinks too many.

Saturday

• Lunch with Maggie, a dear friend and her mom. Try to cover two years in two hours of talking.
• Shopping with Mags at the Mecca, Kohl’s. Spend $50 and save $75. This is the word of the Lord.
• Attend speaking engagement of grandpa’s. More tears ensue.
• Reunion at a quaint bar/restaurant with many old friends, including the entire band playing. Lots of drinks and catching up and smiles and hugs.

Sunday

• Lunch with cousin and close friend; worst service endured in a very long time. Waitress was shit-for-brains and clearly had no desire to gain a good tip.
• Packed all too quickly.
• Pit stop in DeLand for a co-worker; back to Tampa after a roller-coaster weekend.

All in all, I had the best Thanksgiving I’ve experienced in quite some time. Although it got off to a very rocky start, I was so grateful to be home for more than 24 hours. My family is my rock — even when they make me crazy.

Spending time with loved ones rejuvenated my spirit and allowed me to take a break from the rat race, if only for a few days. I hope you each made your own special memories as you celebrated all of life’s blessings.

And if anyone drew a hand turkey, fuck off. No need to be an asshole at a time like this.